one of a kind.

lead me to the truth and i will follow you with my whole life

this gets to me.
Lord, may you bring me to my knees and deliver the words 'I'm clean' from my sinful, human lips. may you allow my husband to see a clean, god-fearing, jesus-loving woman.

i honestly cannot express how much this song gets me. the lyrics.
i desired his attention but denied his affection... i did not think.
 
i will always confess my folly, i may just struggle confessing my love...

capture my heart again.

about that...

i realized, upon reading over some past entries, that i contradict myself. possibly i am a wandering soul... but is that what God called me to do ? if you scanned over any of this year (which is the entire blog) then you may have noticed: i admit i am a wandering soul, but also state the God has a plan that makes us not wanderers. catch it?
no, of course not. that's why i am writing this.

again, in relation to the previous post, i've learned quite a bit about dealing with either 'mistakes' or 'regrets' and admitting they have already happened, that they are God's plan, and that there is nothing i can do about it now. as to say... although i do not know what i am doing with my life and at times seem to be wandering into the gray areas of everything, God has a plan, making my 'wandering' not meaningless, but purposeful.

i actually lost my train of thought. ugh. anywho.
i'm not actually a fan of wandering at times... i like organizing, and cleanliness, and even, yes... routine. i simply need to figure things out eh? maybe what i want to study, the career path i want to take, and even if i desire to stay in this state. goodness me... so much to decide. how do the kids do it these days? oh wait... they don't. ouch sorry about that one Portland.

just because...
Dear Kelsey,
I do love you quite a lot, and think you are fantastic... Please figure your life out and realize that God should be your center, and that He will always be there for you.
Continually pray for everything and everyone around you, as if it does make a difference, even if just a little today... a little more tomorrow.
Take each moment as an opportunity; each and every situation you find yourself in will impact your future... Don't lose sight of that.
And finally, love. Do everything out of love and for the Glory of God. Love those around you, even if you don't want to; love the world around you, even if it is wicked; and above all, love your God with all your heart, mind, and soul.
-Self

let it go.

I really have nothing to say.

You know those moments when you wish you could go back and change just one thing? or maybe two? but it becomes too late and now you must continue with what has already been done.

yeah those.
i find comfort in those, knowing that God already planned it... even if i hate it now.


Thank you.

types

DISCLAIMER: this is a silly blog :)

i recently read an article about dating outside your 'type'. i asked myself, 'What IS my type?'

looking back i feel like i have been interested in pretty... 'normal' guys. but does that lead me to try extremely... odd guys? no, definitely not. the ones i find myself immediately interested in are those ones that are attractive, bright, and usually have some sort of punch to them. but then i look at the ones i have actually dated or something has progress, and none of them are that. well, that came off wrong. meaning... none of them are stand-out's and the first one noticed, etc. maybe that is just why i like them... hmm.

on a completely different note, lately i find myself 'Rob Bell-ing' aka, asking silly questions that don't have answers and answering them. but my answers are true, because i usually just ask myself questions about my own life, and not everyone's salvation. oops, did i type that out loud?

California will be returning two of my bests back to me within the next two weeks. thanks sunny state, i think we can be friends... kinda.

i listened to this multiple times today as i watched the rain hit my window...

21 days

partially inspired by my best friend's latest blog, and partially inspired by life, i feel i need a change.

I recently read, on a dorky website (High Existence: 50 Life Secrets an Tips), about numerous fun things. one mentioned that it takes 21 days to fully adjust to a new sleep cycle. and well, i am going to adjust to a new sleep cycle! i will wake up at 8 or 9 a.m. every day (despite the hours slept), do some activity, and read my bible or a book. i have 21 day!
i do hope i can stay with it. i'm bad at commitment. oh well. its a challenge right?

i also plan on working out more, eating better, and thinking more positive thoughts. my roommate has two things she says to herself before bed, when she wakes, and whenever she sees them. i tried to start it.... i find myself saying the short affirmations before bed and when i simply need to think positive thoughts–its forced. i will try harder.

i am going to make my own person this year.
this summer, will be spectacular.