2012

i missed a month didn't i? sorry december, you were too busy, too chaotic, and i was obviously too lazy.

i thought about writing down some "new year's resolutions" but... i may just reflect.
2011 was a ridiculous year. i lived in three houses, had two jobs, and did lots of stupid things. i do not regret any of it. some of them were stupid, idiotic things and situations that should have been avoided but happened anyway or i did nothing to prevent them. but i learned something all the more.
i have been focusing on protecting my heart throughout the entire year actually because i realized that it was actually deeply hurt from one relationship. i learned that not everyone i 'date' should i be open and honest with–actually all people in general. i am learner to be safer, but take risks when i know it's right. i ask God everyday if this is what i am suppose to be doing with my life and pray he responds with a yes. when he doesn't respond... i seek the world. which is awful. i pray in 2012 that when he doesn't respond, i ask again.
i pray i am kinder. and more truthful. that i treat my best friends like they are kings and queens and everyone i meet as they are children of God. that i pour the love of Jesus onto people;into every situation. at work. at church. in my house. that i would glorify the Lord with my whole heart, mind, and soul.

and that i would encourage others to do the same. it would be nice to be a great influence in someone's life with Jesus. in them getting there. and being able to set an example of what God desires us to be–in His image! i could scream that all day. we are in His image, we are in His image!

the last few months of holiday period have been filled with a lot of hurt, and disaster, and just... not joyful things. i pray i can see the joy in everything, especially in the most difficult of times. that i see God's light through the darkness (as cliche as that may sound). that i can just seriously be drenched in God's love and glory and mercy that he continually puts on us.
may we all see God's light and follow his son.

Thank you Jesus, for showing me that even though I suck every single day, and continue to fail your Father, that you still love me. That you still treat me as a sister and daughter. That you continue to bless my life more than I ever deserve and could have ever imagined. Help me to love you more each day and yearn for knowledge through your Word.